Ted and Julie go to bed with one another for the first time.Julie: I think I should warn you Ted, I've got acute angina Ted: You're breasts aren't bad either

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as: WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: consumption of...

A man and his wife were talking and he says, "You know, I was thinking of going down to the bar tonight and entering that big-dick contest.""Oh honey," she exclaims, "I don't want you taking that...

What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common?They're both fun as long as your friends don't see you on 'em!

What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue?Well hung.

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at a Yankees game. Before the game began a secret service man came up to him and whispered in his ear.Bill Clinton suddenly picked up Hillary and threw...

Bloke: Would you shag me for a million pounds? Bird: Yes. Bloke: Would you shag me for a fiver? Bird: No, what do you take me for? Bloke: I've already figured that one out. I'm just figuring out...

In days of old, when knights were bold,And condoms weren't invented,They wrapped their socksAround their cocks,And babies were prevented!

A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked. One day, as they...

A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling, so the barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on him."Sir, what are you yelling about?...

Q:What does Bob Dole and the Empire State building have in common?A: They both took 410 days to be erected.

What's the difference between boiling water and a woman?You put a piece of meat in boiling water and it gets softer...

There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor...

Why did the boy scout get kicked out?He was caught eating a brownie!

What did the bra say to the hat?"You go on ahead, while I give these two a lift."

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"Feeling his wife's gaze...

There was once a stockbroker who had made a ton of money off the stock market and decided to retire to a ranch in Montana. One day he was out in his front yard planting some flowers when he sees...

What is the word 'non-virgin' in German?Brokenhymen

What do Brooklyn and women in tight jeans have in common?Flatbush.

Why don't witches wear undies?To get better grip on their brooms.