There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute....

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife" What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires...

A middle aged woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund...

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in...

A beautiful woman loved to garden, but couldn' t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red...

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the...

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him "This is all...

10. The cucumber has left the salad. 9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 7. Paging...

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the...

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX: Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each...

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been dating very long, it was very difficult decision. After careful consideration he decided a good...

Here's a safety brief for you...be careful what you wear (or don't wear), when working under your vehicle...especially in public. True story: From the Sydney Morning Herald Australia comes...

What is the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? One is a good year and the other is a great year.

A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and incurs a horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns. Already...

Butt Measurements A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your...

A traveling salesman whose car has broken down goes to the door of the closest farmhouse. The farmer says, "You can spend the night but you'll have to share a room with my beautiful daughter."...

101 Reasons Why Fingers Are Better You don't have to smile at them afterwards You don't have to get out of bed to fetch them They don't get tired before you do... You always know where your...

Cowboy and sheep This woman is driving into the small town of Shelbville and slams on the brakes as a sheep runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready...

Redneck Vacations Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little...

What has 148 teeth and can hold back the incredible hulk?My zipper!