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jokes Page 1 of 2
Nov
4, 2006
Learning to Drive
225 hits
Once a blond was driving a car very rashly and in a zig zag way. a policeman caught him, asked him why he was driving car in such a way is he drunk. blond answered i am learning how to drive a car....
Nov
4, 2006
The new hat
207 hits
There was a woman standing on the edge of a cruise boat, when the wind started to blow and she lifted both of her hands to keep her hat from flying off. A man approached her and said,"Madam the...
Nov
4, 2006
American killer
153 hits
There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. the brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. half way down the driver managed 2 stop the...
Nov
4, 2006
Life saving action
146 hits
A woman sitting in an Adelaide restaurant suddenly began to cough.
After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Kenzie and Brian sitting at the next table...
Nov
4, 2006
IT developer in projects
138 hits
Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company.
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team
now. You can earn good money here, and you can...
Nov
4, 2006
Cellphone on a Bench
168 hits
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen....
Nov
4, 2006
Oldest Profession : Consultant
136 hits
A physician, a civil engineer, and a consultant were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world.
The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a...
Nov
4, 2006
Duck-bar-joke
146 hits
A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender
"do you have any grapes ?"
the bartender gets the grapes starts to hand them to the duck...
the duck said "put them on my bill" .
Nov
4, 2006
Who gave those to you?
144 hits
A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful.
"Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender. "Who gave those beauties to you?"...
Nov
4, 2006
If she went out with me
191 hits
A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn't smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers.
In the bar, he saw the...
Nov
4, 2006
A brain goes to a bar
206 hits
A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"You're already out of your head."
Nov
4, 2006
I don't owe any money
214 hits
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy...
Nov
4, 2006
A very very short man
299 hits
A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this...
Nov
4, 2006
Female hormone beer
306 hits
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100%...
Nov
5, 2006
The fruit cake recipie
187 hits
You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a...
Nov
5, 2006
The Microsoft waiter
157 hits
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this...
Nov
5, 2006
Error with mushrooms
144 hits
From Reuters News Service:
Canada's Ottawa Citizen newspaper recently printed a recipe for Chanterelle Lemon Pasta in its food section, calling for one cup of Chanterelle mushrooms. They even...
Nov
5, 2006
Many ice cream flavors
191 hits
A January 1994 Reuters News Service story on Manuel Oliveira's ice cream shop in Merida, Venezuela, reported on his 567 flavors, including onion, chili, beer, eggplant, smoked trout, spaghetti...
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