1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait that long) 2) Thou shall not do drugs. (alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.) 3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart....

A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed. "Tommy," she said, "I'm not eating any more chicken sandwiches." "Why?" he asked. "'Cause I'm starting to grow feathers...

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults hide at least one dark secret and that makes it easy to blackmail them by saying, "I KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH", Even when you don't know a...

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"...

A poor girl's family lives next door to a rich boy's. The poor girl is playing in her yard one morning when the rich boy came out, boasting his brand new fire truck. "Ha ha, I got a new fire truck...

Mother calls up stairs, "You boys better get down here and eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school!" As they are ambling down, the 5-year-old turns to the 4-year-old, stops and says,...

Little Johnny is walking with his father in the park and they see two dogs locked in a sexual embrace. Little Johnny not understanding what the dogs are doing asks his father, "Daddy, what are...

When his wife gave birth to a healthy baby, a proud father went in to work and told everybody that he has a 10Kg healthy son. After hearing what was going on, the wife tells the father to quit...

A farmer is sitting on the front porch of his house one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. "Hey kid!?the farmer says, "Where ya goin? with...

One day a boy approached his mother with a question. "Mom, how come every night I hear you and daddy fighting and yelling, but when I look in your room you're on top of each other ?" His mother...

Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his girlfriend some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, "Whatcha doin'...

A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?" After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well God is both male and female." This confuses the little...

Worst Analogies Written By High Schoolers He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes...

A young boy, about eight years old, walks into the local grocery store and picks our a huge box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a...

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her...

Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing. "Why are you crying?" asked the little boy. "I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger,"...

One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word "shit". He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him "coats and jackets". Timmy went to school the next day and...

A young boy of 5 was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He had been playing outside her house for a while when he came into the house. "Grandma, what is it called when people are sleeping...

A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it with trembling hands: Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm...

In Sunday School, they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs....