A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied,...

There are these kids at school, each bragging about how they ruined something in an amount of time. 1st kid: I wore out a pair of shoes in 1 month. 2nd kid: I wore out a pair of jeans in...

Teacher: Can you pay a little more attention to this lesson?! Pupil: I am trying my best to pay as little attention as I can!!

A teacher asks a first grader a simple math question. TEACHER: If you had 50 cents in one pocket and you asked you dad for another 50 cents, how much would you have STUDENT: 50 cents TEACHER:...

Teacher: Jimmy! Count from one all the way to ten! Jimmy: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. Teacher: Good, now what comes after that? Jimmy:Jack, queen and king!

Child: Mommy, why am I so skinny? Mommy: Don't worry about it, dear. When your father was born, he only weighed four pounds. Child: Really? Did he live?

Once upon a time, there was a small family, with a little boy named Harry. They had just moved into a new home. It was tall, creaky, and just the place you would expect to be haunted. But, Harry...

(especially if you do this in public) Child: Would you still love me if I did something bad? Parent: Yes, of course. Child: I mean something REALLY bad. Parent: Of course... Child: No,...

A six year old boy walked into the bathroom and caught his dad putting on a rubber. The boy asked, "What are you doing dad?" The dad wanting to save more embarrassing questions replied,...

After class ends a 1st grader goes up to his teacher and says, "I don't mean to scare you Teacher but my parents said that if I keep getting bad grades, then..." "soomebodyy's...

Friend 1:Yeh,you are looking too fat. Friend 2:You are looking too old. Friend 1:I am not old. Friend 2:Then,i am not too fat.

Teacher: Joey, your behaviour is terrible! How many more times am I going to have to keep you in after school? Joey: 97. Teacher: 97? Joey: Yeah. That's how many days are left until the...

A kid gose to school and says to his teacher, "I just learned this new word called purple spegettie." The theacher sends him to the princible and tells him the same thing so he sends him...

How do the kids of dentists get around the neighborhood? On Molar-Skates

What monster was created on April 1? Pranken-stien

A mother and a her daughter go to a restaurant for breakfast to celebrate her birthday. The restaurant is known for its imported cheeses. The mother asks, "Would you like some cheese, my...

A mom was wanting to get her boobs enlarged. Unfortunately for her, she didn't have enough money to get it done. In fact, she had exactly half the money needed. She was telling her son, Little...

"How are you feeling today, Little Johnny?" asked Suzy. "I'm not feeling too good today, Suzy, and exhausted," replied Little Johnny. "I've pulled a muscle, and it's...

Teacher: You should have been here at nine o' clock! Girl: Why? Did something happen?

One day a father and his daughter were driving down the street when the father said, "Look! A bunny. Can you say bunny, bu-nny?" "Bunny!" the daughter replied.They suddenly feel...