What's the difference between Lady Di and the Eastern Germans?The Eastern Germans survived the wall.

Q. What does Ellen DeGeneris cook for dinner every night?A. She doesn't, she eats out!

What did Elton John say when he heard of Di's dimise?"Great another No. 1"

Q: Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet?A: Emily Dick in son.

Why does Prince Charles use Energiser Batteries?Because they, "Never say Di".

Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?A. They both live off dead Beatles.

What were Dodi's last words?'Faster! Faster!'Hint: The driver misunderstood the expressions of pleasure for orders... hence the accident.

Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song?A: "And then he touched me"I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays...

What's Di's favourite ice-cream?Walls

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?A: "Feel the World."

What's the Queen giving Fergie for Christmas?A trip to Paris, dinner at the Ritz, and a chauffeur-driven Mercedes

What did the Queen say when she heard Princess Diana died in a car smash?Was Fergie with her?

What do Ferrero Rocher and Princess Di have in common?They both come out of France in a box.

Q. What's the first problem the Michael's child will have in life?A. Figuring out which parent is his mother.

What does Princess Di have in common with the Richmond Football Club?They both got f*cked by walls.

What did the French mortuary attendant say when he got the body bags?Zip-a-de Dodi, Zip-a-de Di

Did you hear what Di said when the French photographers asked if they could take her picture in the car wreck?"Over my dead Dodi."

What vegetable is most like Princess Diana?French squash.

What have Lady Di and a bottle of French wine got in common?The both came from France in a wooden box

Q: What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common?A: Both have held lots of wet balls in their hands.