Q: Why did Pepsi sign up Michael Jackson for their ads?A: Because he likes the taste of a new generation.

How can we be sure Princess Di's driver was not from Pittsburgh?He'd have slowed down before entering the tunnel.

Q: How does Michael Jackson keep his youth?A: Pizza and Nintendo.

What's the difference between Diana and a pocketful of change?It's easier to scrape together a pocketful of change.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?A. Paul Lynde: "Point and laugh."

Q: Who was the unmanned recon airplane the Predator named for?A: Michael Jackson.

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?A. Paul Lynde: "Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark."

Did you hear they're blaming a specific tabloid for Princess Diana's death?The Paris Post.

What's the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?Taxi.

What did the French doctors say to Prince Charles when they telephoned him?"Princess Die"

Q: What child's game does Michael NOT allow to be played at his Neverland ranch?A: Got your nose! Put it back!

What's Di getting for Christmas?The Queen Mother.

What's the Queens favourite car? A smashed up Princess

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?A. Rose Marie: "Ralph the pin boy."

Q. What do you get when you cross Raquel Welch with Santa Claus?A. A thank you from Santa!

Q: Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?A: He doesn't mind reaching bottom.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Nixon?A: One was a consummate asshole, the other a consummated asshole.

Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson got burnt on Pepsi!

What did Dodi say to Di before they left the Ritz?"Do you want to sleep here or crash in the car?"

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?A. Rose Marie: "No, wait until morning."