One day Widdster walked in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing?" asked Widdster. " We're playing poker and your mom's the wild card," replied his father. So Widdster walked out and went...

One day, at a casino buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!" A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite...

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several...

A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer. The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the...

An old farmer in Georgia had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, basketball court, etc. The pond was properly...

Written on a condom vending machine: These chewing gums don't taste too good!!! Written on another one of the condom vending machines: For refund, insert baby. Another condom vending machine had...

Most people wish to fly on the old gauges at one time or another but are prevented by the high cost of the instruments necessary for this form of flight. The following is a more or less known and...

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. Always read stuff that will make you look...

** A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious. ** No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. ** A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the...

** Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. ** Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly...

** If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. ** If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked,...

AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have kids again. DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside. ...

** Turn on the TV. Change the channel to one that only gets static. Turn the volume up really loud. Say that you can't hear them over the static. ** Make up your own language. Speak it. **...

I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very...

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!" MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money you father and I spent on braces, Mona,...

I just wanted everyone to know that I have initiated a class action lawsuit against the State of California. I wanted you to hear it from me before you read about it in the LA Times. In...

Once upon a time, in a land far away, A beautiful, independent, self assured princess, happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a...

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3.Set all the alarm...

Q. What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?A. Michael Jackson.

Q. 100 Women Surveyed, "Would you have sex with Bill Clinton?"A. 80% said not again.