Q: How many times does 12 go into 35?A: Ask Michael Jackson.

Q: Did you hear about the new McDonalds McJackson sandwich?A: It's a 35 year old slab of meat between two 12 year old buns.

Q: Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35?A: Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old.

Q. What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?A. A Michael Jackson slumber party.

Q: What would you call Michael Jackson if he slept with another 20 or 30 young boys?A: Monsigneur.

Q: What does Michael have in common with NASA?A: It's been 25 years since his first moon landing.

Q. What has four legs and no ears?A. Mike Tyson's dog.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Willie Shoemaker have in common?A: Both ride 4 year olds.

Q. What do you call 5 dogs with no balls?A. The Spice Girls!

Q: What's "black-white" and purple?A: Michael Jackson's dick after a slumber party with a bunch of 6 year olds.

What has 500 legs and 62 teeth?The front row at Princess Diana's funeral.

What did Mother Theresa ask Diana the last time they met?"Can you give me a crash course in media recognition?"

What does Diana's bumper sticker say?My other car's a decoy.

Q: What does Michael Jackson think of when he sees a boy in a McDonald's suit?A: A happy meal.McDonald's is bringing out a new "Michael Jackson Burger"...It has 35 year old meat inside 5 year old...

How do you make a hormone?Put her in a car with an Egyptian playboy and a drunken driver.

How d'ya paint a merc red?Di it.

Q. What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?A. A microwave stops when you open the door.

Did you hear that Di has a new chauffeur?Ayrton Senna.

What does Di rest her head on?A pillar.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.