Q: What's the difference between a plastic grocery bag and Michael Jackson?A: Well, one's an artificial piece of trash that can harm little children,and the other is used to hold groceries.

What's the difference between those who get offended by Princess Diana jokes and a puppy?The puppy eventually stops whining.

Q: What's 6 + 46 + 5?A: A threesome with Michael Jackson.

What's the difference between David Beckham and a new Airfix model?One's a glueless kit...

Where did Diana go for her holidays?All over Paris.

What sound did the ambulance make?Dodi dodi dodi dodi dodi dodi...

Anagrams of "Princess Diana"A car spins, I endAscend in ParisDies in Car, NapsAnagram for "Diana Spencer"Pain Ends RaceAnagram for "Diana, Princess of Wales"Diana's Wolf Penis Races

Q: What psychological problem does Michael still suffer from?A: Anal retention.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?A. Paul Lynde: "Because chiffon wrinkles too easily."

What did Diana say to Dodi when he asked to marry her?She wanted something more concrete in her life.

Q: What's Michael's favorite fast food?A: Big Boys.

Q. What does Bill Clinton and a country folk dancer have in common?A. They both throw a ho down.

Did you hear that Diana had Blue eyes?One blew out the left window and the other out the right window.

What's the difference between a BMW and a Mercedes? BMW doesn't get any royalties.

When Diana said she would never talk to the British press againI didn't know she was speaking the truth!!

Did the British Secret Service kill Princess Diana?No, the French underground did it.

Q: Where is Michael Jackson's other glove?A: In Brooke Shields' pants.

You've read Fergie's books about "Budgie the Helicopter"? Now read Diana's book, "Scrunchie the dark blue Mercedes"

What's the bumper sticker on Fergie's car?I brake for Paparazzi.

Q: What's Michael's favorite Canadian TV show?A: The Kids in the Hall.