A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting. The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's...

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The...

Father O'Grady was saying his goodbye's to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears. "What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired...

This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of...

A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest. ''Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'' ''Tell all of your sins, my daughter.'' ''Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend...

One day a nun was fishing and caught a huge, strange looking fish.A man was walking by and said, "WOW!! What a nice Gauddam Fish!" The sister said, "Sir, you shouldn't use God's name in vain."...

Thanksgiving day was approaching and the family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on their way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren,...

He laid her on the table, So white, clean and bare. His forehead wet with beads of sweat, He rubbed her here and there. He touched her neck and then her breast, And then,...

"Whew, that's one terrific spread!" "I'm in the mood for a little dark meat." "Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist." "Talk about a huge breast!" "It's Cool Whip time!"...

This lady went to a tattoo artist and told him she wanted a turkey tattooed on the upper most inner side of her left thigh. He had seen weirder so he didn't think too much about it. Then she...

1. Be thankful you haven't been spammed! 2. Be thankful your computer isn't down! 3. Be thankful your favorite forum isn't down! 4. Be thankful you don't have The Good Times virus! 5. Be...

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. "Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and...

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. "Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead". "OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"...

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite... Why do witches use brooms to fly on? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy... How do witches keep their hair in place...

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a hallowe'en party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the...

10. She's a goblin! 9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack. 8. Let me see your bag....OH!-You're having a great night! 7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head. 6. She's got...

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first. "Smiling, God...

What did God say after he created man? "I can do better than this" and he made woman. But the disruptions created in Adam's internals when God removed his rib were so great that it caused...

I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that were there, The lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I knew then I had to have you for my own. Willingly, you came with me to my...

Some "lessons" about Halloween, ghosts, and spooks that you'll only learn from the movie theater! 17. When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead....