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religious jokes Page 2 of 11
Oct 28, 2004
Sins Of 3 Nuns
317 hits
There where three nuns who never did anything wrong. One day the high priest came to them and told them that in order to become better nuns they had to do something bad and then drink from the...
Oct 28, 2004
Superman and the Mormons
387 hits
Recently atop the new 60 story building being constructed in down town Salt lake City the following was overheard:
"Hey Mac, come over here to the edge with me; what's your name?"
"I'm...
Oct 28, 2004
Counting Your Ribs
406 hits
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged.
"You're being...
Oct 28, 2004
Ribs and Wife
497 hits
In Sunday School, they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs....
Oct 30, 2004
What
Do You Get From A Confession
283 hits
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman for the last three weekends."
Father Donavon asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, 'tis I."...
Oct 30, 2004
A Girl's Confession
331 hits
The priest leaned closer to hear the girl's confession. "So me and my cousin were alone in the house," she continued, "and went up to my bedroom..."
"Go on, my child," said the priest gently....
Oct 30, 2004
A Strange Confession
283 hits
A Sarajevo man goes to confession and says,
"Father I have done a terrible thing, please, I need me absolution."
"What have you done that is so terrible in this terrible place?" the priest...
Oct 30, 2004
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7....
Oct 30, 2004
Why Pumpkins Are Betten Than Men
568 hits
1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.
2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a better pie.
4. They are always...
Oct 30, 2004
M and M's
414 hits
There were these two children of color trying to decide what to get dressed as to go trick-or-treating for Halloween. Finally the oldest one, Robert, turned to his sister Francine and said, "I...
Oct 30, 2004
How To Confuse Trick or Treators
376 hits
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume,...
Oct 31, 2004
Santa's Bad Day
302 hits
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the...
Oct 31, 2004
Short Christmas Jokes
428 hits
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ? It's Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ? Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December...
Nov
2, 2004
Snakes Multiply
575 hits
Noah's Ark lands after The Flood and Noah releases all the animals, saying, "Go forth and multiply."
Several months pass and Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a...
Nov
5, 2004
1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor.
2. Go to the mall with your roomate and sit on...
Nov 11, 2004
Window Cleaner In A Church
395 hits
A window cleaner was working away at a UK Catholic church. From his vantage point he could see into the confessional box where the priest was reading an old copy of Penthouse and was wanking away...
Nov 11, 2004
White Priest
358 hits
In a village in Africa, there lived a white priest. He tought the villagers that fornication, adultery, etc. was immoral and you could go to hell for it.
One day an african woman gave birth to...
Nov 11, 2004
Satan In A Church
302 hits
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking...
Nov 11, 2004
Young Priest
340 hits
Said the elder Priest, " I know you were reaching out to the young people when you had bucket seats put in to replace the first four pews. It worked. We got the front of the church filled first."...
Nov 11, 2004
Church Freuds
338 hits
Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside.
One week our preacher preached on commitment, and...
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