Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on...

An 90 year old man came to his doctor and asked for "a half dose of Viagra." His doctor asked, "Why only a half a dose?" He replied, "I only need enough to stop peeing on my shoes!"  

A woman went to her doctor. Said she, "I'm rather worried about my husband". The doctor urged her to say more. "Well, he thinks he is a refrigerator" she continued. "How old is he?" ...

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50...

As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her. "Well", said the woman, "I guess I'd...

The young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it...

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the...

An elderly businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what do you want me to do with your...

The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon." "Uh...

The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband"s "little soldier" can"t salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for...

There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St.Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag, "The Cambridge Distorter," told a photographer to get over there and...

On the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree by the cemetery fence.   One day two kids filled up a bucketful of nuts  and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began...

 An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream...

Old Lady: what's the problem sir? Officer: I stopped you for speeding. Old Lady: Oh. I see. Officer: Can I see your licsence please? Old Lady: I Lost it. Officer: Lost it? Old...

One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire...

An old Jewish man went to a diner every day for lunch. He always ordered the soup du jour. One day the manager asked him how he liked his meal. The old man replied (with Yiddish accent), "Vas...

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. "How are you grandpa?" he asks."Feeling fine," says the old man. "What's the food like?" "Terrific, wonderful menus." "And the...

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever...

 I'm over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of...

Two ninety year old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their  lives.  It seems that Sam is dying, and Moe comes to visit him every day. "Sam," says Moe, "You know how we have...