1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is...

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me up for that? Did I mention the video camera? Hurry up! This room rents by the hour! Can you please pass me the remote control? Do you...

Whoa, time out. Football is on. Sorry. I was just picturing you naked. Is there any way we can do this via e-mail? Don't you have some laundry to do or something? You are so cute when...

I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. I used to come here all the time with my ex. I never said you NEED a nose job. I...

10) Getting six hours of sleep is a privilege. 9) The sentence, "Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?" sounds normal. 8) You are used to doing everything one-handed. 7) The...

An Irish drunk is driving through Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road. An Irish cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?" "I've been to the...

They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn"t been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a...

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell...

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there. A farmer replied, "Joe"s mule kicked...

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper. "Steve," his wife said,...

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife: "When I"m dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can"t marry anyone...

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first: Your Clothes - 1st...

A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage...

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm...

A man and his young son are in the drugstore when the son comes across the condoms and asks his father what they are. The dad replies, "Well son, those are condoms and they're for protection when...

Women think they already know everything, but wait... training courses are now available for women on the following subjects: 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before ...

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her daughter-in law standing naked by the door. "What...

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Q. What's...

Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how...

Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems. Rule #1: When in doubt, buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if...