An Englishman waiting to tee-off sees a funeral procession going by. It was a strange looking affair, the casket and the pall bearers were led by a man who had a dog by a leash and the rest of the...

There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. Well, one Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at...

An angry wife met her elderly husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there's a very good reason for you're waltzing in at...

A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?" The doctor replies, "try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in...

A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a...

A traveller pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He...

Now I lay me down to sleep. Please don't send me no more creeps. Please just send me one good man. One without a wedding band. One good man who's sweet as pie. Who brushed his teeth and...

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common...

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from in...

 Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15,  Prozac,...

This guy bursts into his house and shouts, "Pack your bags, Honey, I just won the lottery!" She says, "That's wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?" He replies, "I...

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS ================== Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE...

A host of new drive through cash points is set to sweep through the country, and the national association of bankers has issued the following guidelines to ensure full, efficient use of this new...

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left  me a fortune?"  " Honey, "the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT...

Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. "OK," the judge said, "Tell the court why you want a divorce." "Well, your...

1. Please don't talk to my breasts. You won't be meeting them. 2. If you want to control someone, sleep with your remote. 3. I always choose chocolate over men. ALWAYS 4. 51% love...

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried,...

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Christmas and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing ; forty-five years of misery...

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two...

The Geography of a Woman Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile...