A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When He finally...

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long...

LOVE......................when your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST.......................when your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE............when your belt won't meet around...

A is for Arteries. You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you. ...

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve,...

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" ...

Before - You take my breath away After - I feel like I'm suffocating Before - Twice a night After - Twice a month Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation...

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am; I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam. I don't brag to my buddies about my erections; I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions. I...

I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe; I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can get where I want to -- north,...

A little boy asked his father " Daddy, how was I born?" Dad responds, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway. So here goes. Well, you see, your Mom and I first got...

101 Reasons Why Fingers Are Better You don't have to smile at them afterwards You don't have to get out of bed to fetch them They don't get tired before you do... You always know where your...

The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to...

Husband is missing A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years...

I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR! If you don't open my door. I CAN DO ANYTHING A MAN CAN DO! But I don't have to. I AM NOT YOUR HOOKER! But you're still gonna pay. SEX IS A SPECIAL THING! And a...

One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her...

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To...

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn. Madonna All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others. Henry Youngman To attract men, I wear a perfume called...

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Charlotte Whitton Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like...

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2...

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?" Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question...