A sophisticated lady went into an expensive restaurant. Before sitting, she asked her waiter, "Do you serve crabs here, sir?" The waiter replied, "Yes ma'am, we serve anybody in...

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I...

Farmer Brown and his wife were working in the field one day about dusk. As they were heading back to the house they saw a bunch of strange lights way out in the field. Upon ariving Farmer Brown and...

A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage...

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up....

Feeling edgy, a woman took a hot bath. Just as she got comfortable, the doorbell rang. She got out, wrapped herself in a towel, and went to the door. A salesman wanted to know if she needed...

"Uh huh," "sure, honey," or "yes, dear" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. "It would take too long to explain" Translated:...

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini Skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the...

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend...

A handsome mid-age couple, John and Gail, like living in Texas. Even though they have lived in Texas most of their married life John never had a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on...

Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the...

You know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don't you? The three wise WOMEN would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver...

One Monday morning, a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes, Bob the homeowner is coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles....

Strategic responses to the ever dangerous "Do I look Fat" question: "No, not to Stevie Wonder." "No babe, your not fat, your fluffy." "Does this...

A Texan is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his...

A little guy is seated next to a big guy at a bar and asks his name. The big guy says, "They call me Tex." The little guy replies, "Oh, you must be from Texas."...

why do women have breast so men have something to look at while there talking

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,...

Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old?" Well here is some karma for that. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first...

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and how the letters are used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is...