And Moses looked upon the Lord and said: "We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?"

Librarian: "Please be quiet. The people next to you can't read." Boy: "What a shame! I've been reading since I was six."

Did you hear about the blonde who got a pair of waterskis? She's still looking for a lake with a slope!!

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"

Yo Mama so fat that she bent over and got arrested for selling crack.

Yo mama is so black, someone shot a bullet at her and the bullet came back and said I need a flashlight.

Q. Have you heard of the dyslexic cow who attained enlightenment? A. It kept on repeating OOOOMMM!

Yo momma so fat, she has to iron her clothes on the street.

yo mommas so fat when she stepped on the scale she said wow thats my phone number

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."

Yo momma so dumb she thought a quarterback was a refund!!!!!!!!!!!

Little Bonnie became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?î

Why did the teacher have to put on her glasses during class? Because the kids were to bright!

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Yo mama so fat people jog around her instead of the block, for a LONGER run!

Why couldn't the Blonde write the number Eleven? Answer: She didn't know which number came first.

Yo mommas so fat that when she was in school they didn't have history.

why do women have breast so men have something to look at while there talking

Yo mamma is so fat, she sat down in Wal-mart and lowered the prices.

Yo mommas so stupid she fucked waldo.