You know your a redneck when there is 15 cars in your driveway and the only one that moves is your house.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit ? A: The bucket.

Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings when they go on a date? So they have some place to put their feet.

Child: Mom! I got a 100% on my homework! Mom: Really? On what subject? Child: A 40% on science and a 60% on spelling.

Teacher: Larry, name two pronouns. Larry: Who, Me? Teacher: That answer is correct.

What do you call a horny fish? A blowfish

Child: Teacher! I can't find my boots! Teacher: You sure? Child: Yes! There are only one pair left and it's not mine! Teacher: You sure? Child: Definitely! Mine had snow on it!

There was a young girl from Hoboken, Who claimed that her hymen was broken , From riding her bike , On a cobblestone pike , But it really was broken from pokin'!!!

your mamas so fat when she went to a hotel she asked for a water bed and they just covered up the pool with a blanket and said no divers.

how do you know your a redneck? if you goto a cousins wedding looking for a girlfriend.

What does a blond and a spaghetti noodle have in common? Answer: They both wiggle when you eat them.

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Q: Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.

Yo Momma so fat she don't have a size bra that fits her!

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked in the box of cheerios? A: Oh look donut seeds!

Yo momma is like a brick. She's flat on all sides and get's laid all day.

You know you're a redneck when somebody says, "hoedown", and your sister and mom hit the floor!

Apparently the leading nominee for the papacy... is Paul Wolfowitz.

What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? Thank you for the refill.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.