A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, "for you, no charge".

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "dam".

Yo momma so stupid that she forgot where she parked her car in an empty parking lot!

What did the male rabbit buy the female rabbit for her birthday? 14 carrot gold!

What do you call a dinosaur that is able to give you a synonym for any word you give him? Answer: A Thesaurus! :)

1. The Yankees General Manager's name is Brian Cashman. 2. Barry Bonds' initals are BB, the abreviation for a walk is also BB.

Why don't blind people sky dive? Because it scares the crap outta the dog.

Why did the kid walk backwards to school? Because it was back to school day!

How do spell mousetrap with only three letters? C-A-T

Why did 3 blonds jump off the building? to see if their maxi-pads had wings!

Yo Mommas so ugly, she broke her own record for 25 years... too bad they cant feature a Photo in the Guiness Book of World Records :S PS. Lame ne? lol

Did you hear about the new muslim air mattress? It blows itself up.

Why did the chicken go across the field? Because the referee shouted "FOWL"!

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

yo momma so fat she has to use the highway as a slip and slide!

Yo mama's so short, she had 2 cuff her panties.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped on the arch and made it into the mcdonalds M.

yo mama's so fat, she waz about 2 jump in the ocean, and the ocean jumped out and said u 1st.

Johnny and his mother were having a parent-teacher conference. MOTHER: Johnny really enjoys having you as a teacher, Mrs. Bengal. JOHNNY: Really? I didn't know it was opposite day!