Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas???You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."

Why don't chickens wear underwear?Because their peckers are on their faces!

A chinese man walks into a shop with a parrot on his shoulder, and the shopkeeper says, "Blimey, where did you get that?". And the parrot says, "China, there's loads of 'em there".

What did the termite say when he walked into the bar?Where is the bar tender?

Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?A. Because he was pissed off!

Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Why did the fly fall off the toilet?It got pissed off.

You might be a redneck if when you walk the dog you both use the same bush.

What's the difference between Simba and O.J. Simpson?One's an African lion, and the other's a lion African.

Why do moths fly with their legs open?Cause they've got huge mothballs!

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?An animal that can milk itself!

You might be a blonde if you think a thesaurus is a dinosaur!

Why do dinosaurs have to wear hats?So their wives know which end to kiss!

What's the odd one out?1) A lobster2) a whale3) a guy that's been hit by a bus?The whale -- the other two are both crustaceans.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?Because he was tied to the second monkey.

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?This one will sleigh you!

What's the only animal that has to be oiled? A mouse. Why?Cause it squeaks!

What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?Run 'round and 'round till you're all pooped out!

If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it?The horse's name is Friday!