What instrument do skeletons play?Trom-BONE.

Why did the turkey cross the road?To prove that he wasn't chicken.

Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?A: Because he had his own drumsticks!

Why did the turtle Cross the road?To get to the ''Shell'' station!

What do you call a turtle with an erection?A slow poke!

Why was the turtle so shiny when he left the shell station?He used some turtle wax!

There were two cows in a paddock and one said to the other, "I'm a bit worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around."The other answered; "It won't worry me, I'm a helicopter!!"

Why can’t you have two elephants in your swimming pool at the same time?Because they’d only have one pair of trunks.

There's two fish in a tank, one says to the other,"Do you know how to drive this?"

Two fleas were walking out of the cinema when they discovered it was raining hard."Shall we walk?" said one flea."No," said the other, " lets take a dog.

Two goats are out behind a movie studio eating old movie film.One goat says to the other,"Pretty good, huh?" The second goat says,"Yeah... but it's not as good as the book."

What's got two legs and bleeds?Half a dog.

Two monkeys were discussing evolution:"You mean to tell me that I really am my keeper's brother?"

There were two Parrots on a Perch, and one says to the other,"Can you smell fish?"

Two sheep in a field,one says, "Baaaaaaaa!"The other says,"Damn! I was just going to say that!"

How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?Unique Up On It

What do elephants use for tampons?Sheep.

What do elephants use for vibrators?Epileptic pigmies.

What's black, lives in a tree and is VERY dangerous?Answer: A crow with a machine gun!!!

Where do you get Virgin Wool?From an ugly sheep!